VODKA!!!

Viggo Mortison drinking Vodka like a
Champion in Eastern Promises

I'm not sure why Ive always had a strong love for vodka, going back some ten years I must have consume untold gallons of the stuff. My girlfriend can a test to this believe me! Its like an old stand-by, when the chips are down I can always count on this colorless-odorless-flavorless gift from our comrades to the East. While vodka is probably the most popular and most consumed alcohol in the wide wide world of liquor it is far from being a spirit most people enjoy just on its own. Now I know what your thinking, "What about dirty vodka martinis, that's just vodka in a glass right?" THE PRICE IS WRONG bitch. First of all lets break this cocktail down a bit.

Break Down 1; Its chilled. People do this to kill the back bite of the alcohol, a burn that a lot of tried and true aged scotch drinks seem to seek out. If you don't believe me drink a saught after scotch called "Laphroaig" and then come talk to me.

Break Down 2; The Olive Juice (Dirty) adage, Again something people add to the vodka martini to cut the, or in some cases add to, the flavor of the vodka itself.

Break Down 3; Vermouth... What Vermouth?

Let me break it down for you even further on the LOW LOW, Vodka is easy to make, most batches don't take more than a couple weeks to mature. The KEY to a good vodka is the how many time the item is distilled and what the water source is THAT'S IT!

Now I caution you, the more you distill vodka the smoother it will become, however you will loose certain long sought after flavor notes, such as white pepper, faint vanilla. BELIEVE ME those notes are there, they are just not all up in your junk like Gin or some smokey Bourbon. If I was to place in front of you two vodkas; a top shelf and some rot-gut well vodka 9 times outa 10 you wont know the difference. IN FACT a lot of shady bars and restaurants know this and simply marry that bottle of SKOL into your Grey Goose! Shameless I know... ah ahem...

While many would argue TRUE vodka is odorless and colorless (In fact its illegal in Europe to call something vodka unless it is!) this is not always true, and please don't misconstrue this with the flavored-vodkas you kids are all hopped up on these days!

I know what your thinking;

"Eric, after all this exposition how do you take it? You douche."

Well I'm glad you asked, er I asked myself to ask... er whatever...

I sip it, or simply shoot it down neat, room temperature. Whats funny is I never was told how to drink vodka I just thought it the most appropriate way to do so. I still get funny looks in bars when I order it neat. Its just what I like man, Chrst I don't bad mouth you kids for drinking a certain German licorice flavored Pepto Bismal... *cough* Jager *cough* ahem.

They go Banana's for the stuff in eastern Europe, hell its part of your rations in the Russian military to this DAY. And on a final note it doesn't really matter from what the vodka is made, albeit potatoes or grain, its all starch it all breaks down the same. I KNOW already I'm going to get emails about this but seriously its true. While I like Chopin, Ill drink my Stoli and Tito's Hand-made vodka all the same.

I love the stuff! I just have to be careful not to love the stuff too much or this happens;

Viggo Mortison later that day fighting dudes naked with a carpet knife

Thats right drunk naked knife Fight...

-Eric